Workplace Bullying: Don’t Just Take It — Protect Yourself Like Family Would

Let me tell you something straight up: if you’re getting bullied at work, it’s not because you’re weak, lazy, or “too sensitive.” It’s because some people are power tripping, mean, or perhaps cowards in positions who think making others miserable will make them look powerful. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

I’m a lawyer, but I’m also a dad, a husband, and a proud Filipino who grew up in a culture where family looks out for family. If someone messes with my people, I don’t stay quiet. And I want you to have that same fire when someone tries to push you around at work.

First, Call It What It Is

Bullying isn’t just schoolyard stuff. It happens in offices, hospitals, warehouses — anywhere adults forget how to act like adults.

• That boss who always yells to “motivate”? Bully.

• That coworker who keeps leaving you out of emails then blames you for missing deadlines? Bully.

• That “funny guy” who spreads rumors about you in the break room? Bully.

Don’t sugarcoat it. Naming the behavior is the first step in taking your power back.

Your Best Weapon? A Notebook (Yes, I’m Serious)

You know how every Filipino family has a tita who remembers exactly who didn’t bring pancit to the reunion in 2004? That’s the energy you need.

Write. Everything. Down.

• Dates, times, what was said, who was there.

• Save those shady emails and text messages.

• Screenshot those Teams or Slack chats before someone “accidentally” deletes them.

Why? Because when it’s your word against theirs, receipts matter. It’s not about being petty — it’s about protecting yourself like you’d protect your little brother or sister from being blamed for something they didn’t do.

Is It Illegal? Sometimes Yes.

Here’s the part where lawyer-me steps in. Bullying by itself isn’t always illegal. But a lot of times, it overlaps with laws that are on your side:

• If the bullying is tied to your race, gender, age, religion, or disability, that’s harassment.

• If they come after you harder because you spoke up? That’s retaliation.

• If it’s so bad you dread going to work every day, you might have a hostile work environment claim.

The law doesn’t cover every mean look or bad attitude, but trust me — once you connect the dots, you might find out that bully just handed you a legal case on a silver platter.

Don’t Be Afraid to Use HR

I know what you’re thinking: “HR doesn’t care about me, they care about the company.” True — but here’s the trick. When you put your complaint in writing, the company is officially “on notice.” If they ignore you, it makes them look worse later.

So:

• Check the handbook. Follow their process.

• File your complaint in writing. Be specific. No novelas — just the facts.

• Keep copies. Don’t trust their “we’ll handle it” smile.

Think of it like leaving a paper trail for your future self — or for your lawyer cousin who’ll thank you later.

Take Care of Yourself (Seriously)

Look, I get it. We Filipinos sometimes joke through pain. We say “okay lang” even when it’s not okay. But bullying eats away at your health.

• Talk to a doctor or therapist. Document the stress.

• Take leave if you need it. That’s not weakness — that’s survival.

• Lean on your family and friends. Even the loud tita who will tell you to just quit — she’s showing love, in her own way.

Remember: you can’t fight if you’re running on empty.

When to Call a Lawyer

If HR plays dumb or things get worse after you speak up, that’s when you need backup. A good employment lawyer can:

• File a charge with the EEOC or state agency.

• Send a letter that gets HR’s attention real quick.

• Pursue a lawsuit if your rights are being violated.

Here’s the key: don’t wait too long. Deadlines for filing complaints can be as short as 180 days. The bully is counting on you to stay quiet. Don’t give them that win.

Sometimes, Walking Away Is Winning

Let’s be real — sometimes the healthiest move is planning your exit. That doesn’t mean you “lost.” It means you chose peace over toxicity.

But don’t just storm out:

• Look for your next job quietly. Use your own devices, not the company’s.

• Talk to a lawyer about negotiating severance.

• Leave with your head high, not your spirit broken.

  
  

My Final Word

Family protects family. If you were my cousin, and you told me some bully at work was making your life hell, I wouldn’t tell you to just “pray about it” or “be patient.” I’d say: document it, report it, and if they don’t fix it, let’s make some legal noise.

You don’t deserve to feel small in a place where you give so much of your time and energy. Protect yourself like you’d protect your own family — with love, courage, and yes, a little bit of that Filipino stubbornness.

Because no paycheck is worth your dignity.